During a session with Dominic's psychiatrist a month ago, Dr Rubin mentioned that Dominic should be taught not to touch girls at all. I had thought it would be ok for him to hug them, but only if he asked them first. I was teaching him to ask if a girl wanted to be hugged, or have him standing so close. However, Dr Rubin advised that he had seen many teenage boys with Autism or Aspergers end up in legal trouble for inappropriate touching. This scared me because I could see Dominic as a teenager and not knowing that walking up to a girl and touching her (even if innocently) could get him in trouble. So we started teaching that touching a girl is not allowed.
A couple of weeks ago Dominic brought home the 2nd pink slip of the year. At this point last year we were already up to 4 or 5. Apparently while Dominic was eating lunch he repeatedly said "penis" to the girl next to him. She went to tell after he said he would tell her what it meant. According to Dominic (because his version is always entertaining, even if no where near the truth) he was just whispering "penis" to himself and she happened to overhear. He couldn't tell me why he was whispering "penis" to himself in the middle of lunch though. He was spoken to, but not punished with suspension or detention. I had a talk with him about what is and what is not appropriate to say to girls, or other boys for that matter.
I brought this up during our last session with Dr Rubin. Dr Rubin gave him a lecture on what was ok to say to girls and what was not. At one point Dominic yelled "don't say that!". So Dr. Rubin, funny man that he is, wrote on a piece of paper "do not say anything sexual to girls". I explained that Dominic had no idea what sexual meant so he changed it to "do not say anything about boobs, butts, or penises to girls". Dominic hid under Dr Rubin's desk for most of the talk, but I hoped he at least remembers it. I'm hoping the embarrassment of the whole situation prevents him from wanting to repeat it in the future.
Dominic has been doing pretty well lately. But even Dr Rubin got to witness Dominic's complete lack of impulse control when Dominic started throwing toys around his office. He prescribed a new medicine that he said would help give him some impulse control. Sounds like a miracle to me, but I said we'd give it a try. So far all I've noticed is that it makes him pass out. I looked it up online and was surprised to find that it is used for high blood pressure! I could not find any off label uses for ADHD or impulse control or anything like that! I am calling the doctor today for an explanation. Soon after taking the medicine Dominic starts saying odd things. Like "I can't feel my legs" or "My nose feels swollen". I am so terrified that I am hurting him with these medications. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
I do think the Abilify is a good choice though. Dominic is doing so much better in school this year. He's getting along with everyone, excelling on his school work, and has only been in trouble twice. We had our first parent teacher conference last week. It lasted 4 minutes because Dominic has no problems with school work. His reading assessment scores are a full point higher than the school and district average. On their scale they want kids to be at 19 points at the end of the year for first grade. That was his score three weeks into school. His math scores are 98%, reading 100% and writing 99%. His handwriting became incredibly neat and readable one day. It was completely out of the blue! I took a story out of his bag and was so surprised I actually asked him if he had written it. He said yes, and that he had decided to write neat now. His intelligence never ceases to amaze me. I am so grateful and happy that I do not have to worry about his school work.
This week is fall break. He has homework to do so he doesn't lose any skills. I'm on vacation and we have absolutely nothing planned. I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with him. :- )
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Friendships
Dominic has been doing really well in school. He's had a few rough days where he couldn't follow directions or was too touchy-feel with other students. There was one incident report from last week though. Dominic was spinning in circles with his hands on his hips and elbows out on the playground. According to him, another student came too close and was hit in the chest with his elbow. The report stated that Dominic had punched the child though. Even with this set back, this year is much better than last. At this point last year we already had 3 or 4 incident reports!
There are two boys who live in our apartment complex and ride the bus with Dominic in the afternoon. They have come over to play a few times. Each time is incredibly nerve racking for me. I want Dominic to have friends, and I have to stop myself from constantly correcting him and trying to help him keep friends. I do remind him (before they come over) to let them decide what they what to do. Dominic is incredibly bossy and always wants to direct the play, at times even forcing the other person to do what he wants. He has shown great restraint when the boys come over though. Although there are a few issues, such as violent playing, or giving his toys away, it seems to be going rather well.
I've explained to Dominic that he may not see things they way that most people do. I tell him that I will help him understand how to make and keeps friends, and what he can and can not do or say to other people. Sometimes he listens to my hints, but most times he just blatantly ignores me. I just hope that one day it will start to sink in. My main points are to not be so bossy, let others take control and follow along, and not point out things that might be embarrassing (such as "why are you missing part of your arm?"). Every day brings new understanding about Dominic for me. It's been really hard to understand the way that he thinks and does things. But it's been getting better and that's very encouraging.
There are two boys who live in our apartment complex and ride the bus with Dominic in the afternoon. They have come over to play a few times. Each time is incredibly nerve racking for me. I want Dominic to have friends, and I have to stop myself from constantly correcting him and trying to help him keep friends. I do remind him (before they come over) to let them decide what they what to do. Dominic is incredibly bossy and always wants to direct the play, at times even forcing the other person to do what he wants. He has shown great restraint when the boys come over though. Although there are a few issues, such as violent playing, or giving his toys away, it seems to be going rather well.
I've explained to Dominic that he may not see things they way that most people do. I tell him that I will help him understand how to make and keeps friends, and what he can and can not do or say to other people. Sometimes he listens to my hints, but most times he just blatantly ignores me. I just hope that one day it will start to sink in. My main points are to not be so bossy, let others take control and follow along, and not point out things that might be embarrassing (such as "why are you missing part of your arm?"). Every day brings new understanding about Dominic for me. It's been really hard to understand the way that he thinks and does things. But it's been getting better and that's very encouraging.
Friday, September 2, 2011
IEP....or 504??
The first meeting with Dominic's teacher, counselor, PACE teacher, kindergarten teacher and school psychologist was this past Wednesday. At first I was feeling rather defensive. The psychologist explained that to have an IEP, Dominic has to be having a problem with his education. Dominic is very smart. She explained they would test his IQ and if it's in the average range, but his educational performance is lower than average, he would qualify. I doubt Dominic is in the average range. I wanted to ask them to test him anyway because I'm curious as to if there is a difference in his IQ and his performance.
Then the counselor said she doesn't think Dominic needs an IEP. She then brought up a 504 plan. "A 504 plan spells out the modifications and accommodations that will be needed for these students to have an opportunity perform at the same level as their peers." (http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/f/504faq1.htm) They explained what it was, what it was used for and then the counselor said she doesn't think Dominic needs that either. When she said that I became annoyed. They weren't offering help for him, they were just telling me what he doesn't need!
At this point his kindergarten teacher spoke up. She said she believes Dominic needs a 504 plan because that way it's set every year, no matter what school we go to, what Dominic needs to thrive in school. Most of what is being done for him now they kept calling "good teacher practices". For example: preferred seating, having him help out in class, encouraging other classmates to praise him when he does something right (such as apologizing, letting someone else take the lead, etc.), and giving him harder course work. Mrs. Fletcher (kindergarten teacher) pointed out that not every teacher would think to do those things for Dominic. Also if we switched schools, we'd be starting all over. They wouldn't just take my word for what needs to be done for Dominic.
After all this discussion it was determined we would do a 504 plan for Dominic. I could've cheered! The first meeting to get that started is next week. I hope this will be the best action to help Dominic. Unfortunately I'm wading thru the dark here and I only know whether it was the right choice when it's too late to change my mind!
As a side note, at one point during the meeting Dominic's current teacher, Ms Jurado, was explaining what Dominic does when "forced" to apologize and say sorry. He grabs his throat and says it hurts to say the word. He has done this with me as well and I never understood what was going on, why he would say that. Ms Jurado said to him "That's emotions, Dominic." It was like a light bulb went off! I knew Dominic has a hard time with other people's emotions, I never realized it was difficult for him to deal with his own as well. Now that I know it'll be a lot easier to handle. :- )
Then the counselor said she doesn't think Dominic needs an IEP. She then brought up a 504 plan. "A 504 plan spells out the modifications and accommodations that will be needed for these students to have an opportunity perform at the same level as their peers." (http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/f/504faq1.htm) They explained what it was, what it was used for and then the counselor said she doesn't think Dominic needs that either. When she said that I became annoyed. They weren't offering help for him, they were just telling me what he doesn't need!
At this point his kindergarten teacher spoke up. She said she believes Dominic needs a 504 plan because that way it's set every year, no matter what school we go to, what Dominic needs to thrive in school. Most of what is being done for him now they kept calling "good teacher practices". For example: preferred seating, having him help out in class, encouraging other classmates to praise him when he does something right (such as apologizing, letting someone else take the lead, etc.), and giving him harder course work. Mrs. Fletcher (kindergarten teacher) pointed out that not every teacher would think to do those things for Dominic. Also if we switched schools, we'd be starting all over. They wouldn't just take my word for what needs to be done for Dominic.
After all this discussion it was determined we would do a 504 plan for Dominic. I could've cheered! The first meeting to get that started is next week. I hope this will be the best action to help Dominic. Unfortunately I'm wading thru the dark here and I only know whether it was the right choice when it's too late to change my mind!
As a side note, at one point during the meeting Dominic's current teacher, Ms Jurado, was explaining what Dominic does when "forced" to apologize and say sorry. He grabs his throat and says it hurts to say the word. He has done this with me as well and I never understood what was going on, why he would say that. Ms Jurado said to him "That's emotions, Dominic." It was like a light bulb went off! I knew Dominic has a hard time with other people's emotions, I never realized it was difficult for him to deal with his own as well. Now that I know it'll be a lot easier to handle. :- )
Saturday, August 27, 2011
My Guilt
This is very difficult for me to write about. I can spend all day talking about Dominic and his struggles. Opening up about myself is very different. However, I think at this point it is necessary. This past Wednesday Dominic and I visited his psychiatrist, Dr. Rubin. Dominic has been very irritable this past week, snapping at every question, and screaming or making noises when I try to speak to him. Dr. Rubin thought the Adderral might be agitating him, so we stopped it. He is currently taking just Abilify, but we upped the dose a bit. On Friday we visited his psychologist, Dr. Beth. I asked her how long it takes for the Adderral to get out of Dominic's system, because he was still incredibly irritated. When she said it's a daily drug and it's long gone out of his system, I started crying. If it's not the medicine, and his behavior is ok at Grandma's house, and doing good at school, then what's left? It has to be me, right? I'm the one who has the most problems with Dominic, so I must be doing something wrong.
Dr. Beth pulled me out of the room and talked to me about "situational depression". She suggested I see a counselor and/or consider medication. She said if I don't take care of myself then I can't help Dominic. A lot of the things she has suggested we try haven't worked because there is too much negativity in the house. When she said this I realized it was true. I've been sluggish, tired all the time (even more so than normal considering my job), haven't been cleaning the house or car like I used to, and I've had a general sense of hopelessness. I feel selfish being depressed because that takes time away from him.
Now that I think about it, I can trace these problems back to May, when Dominic was diagnosed. I immediately felt weighed down with guilt. My family has a history of mental problems, such as bi-polar, depression, ADHD and ADD. I brought a child into this world knowing my family history but completely ignorant of the consequences. When Dominic was a young child, I knew something was off. I knew he wasn't like other kids, but I didn't know what the issue could be and I wanted to pretend he was eccentric. If I had brought him in sooner could he have been helped enough for him not to have problems in school? Did I hurt him by waiting until I was told by an outside source that there was something wrong with him?
We have been working with Dominic on behavioral therapy and medication for four months. It's very difficult to determine whether or not there is improvement in his behavior. We've had quite a few good days, where he listens, does what he's told, and doesn't hit me. But is he just having a good day? Or is it the medication/therapy finally working? When he has nothing but bad days for a few weeks, did the medicine stop working, or is he just having some bad days? There is so much confusion and very little answers.
I want so many things for Dominic. I appreciate his many skills, and his strengths, but I think I focus too much on what needs to be "fixed". I think I will see a counselor. I wish that I could find someone that has experience with families with Autistic children. There are support groups out there, but none close and the times they meet are not workable for us. I want to be able to handle all of this by myself. I want to be the strong Mom, who helps her child and does it without complaints. Realizing that no one like that exists is a hard pill to swallow.
Dr. Beth pulled me out of the room and talked to me about "situational depression". She suggested I see a counselor and/or consider medication. She said if I don't take care of myself then I can't help Dominic. A lot of the things she has suggested we try haven't worked because there is too much negativity in the house. When she said this I realized it was true. I've been sluggish, tired all the time (even more so than normal considering my job), haven't been cleaning the house or car like I used to, and I've had a general sense of hopelessness. I feel selfish being depressed because that takes time away from him.
Now that I think about it, I can trace these problems back to May, when Dominic was diagnosed. I immediately felt weighed down with guilt. My family has a history of mental problems, such as bi-polar, depression, ADHD and ADD. I brought a child into this world knowing my family history but completely ignorant of the consequences. When Dominic was a young child, I knew something was off. I knew he wasn't like other kids, but I didn't know what the issue could be and I wanted to pretend he was eccentric. If I had brought him in sooner could he have been helped enough for him not to have problems in school? Did I hurt him by waiting until I was told by an outside source that there was something wrong with him?
We have been working with Dominic on behavioral therapy and medication for four months. It's very difficult to determine whether or not there is improvement in his behavior. We've had quite a few good days, where he listens, does what he's told, and doesn't hit me. But is he just having a good day? Or is it the medication/therapy finally working? When he has nothing but bad days for a few weeks, did the medicine stop working, or is he just having some bad days? There is so much confusion and very little answers.
I want so many things for Dominic. I appreciate his many skills, and his strengths, but I think I focus too much on what needs to be "fixed". I think I will see a counselor. I wish that I could find someone that has experience with families with Autistic children. There are support groups out there, but none close and the times they meet are not workable for us. I want to be able to handle all of this by myself. I want to be the strong Mom, who helps her child and does it without complaints. Realizing that no one like that exists is a hard pill to swallow.
Monday, August 22, 2011
IEP...
I sent a letter to the school on August 15th, requesting my son be evaluated for an IEP. I still haven't received a call to set up the initial meeting! This meeting is just to give Dominic's history and give permission to start the testing. I don't understand why it's taking them so long!
One of my co-workers, Michelle, has a mother who teaches classes on IEP's, parent's right and the law regarding it all. Michelle told her mother what I've been going thru and she's very upset! Apparently once I notified them of Dominic's diagnoses, even over the phone, they have 30 days to start evaluating AND they should have started (and maybe even finished) the process over the summer!! The school's psychologist told me last May that it was too late in the school year to start the process, that it couldn't be done over the summer and it'd be fine to start at the beginning of the new school year. Turns out she went on maternity leave over the summer. Seems a bit suspicious, doesn't it??
I will be calling the new psychologist tomorrow. The problem is that I sleep until 3:30 pm because I work 3rd shift. Hopefully she is still answering her phone after 4 pm, since I need to get Dominic from the bus stop just before that time first. It really upsets me that they are pushing this back and don't seem concerned about helping Dominic. According to my co-worker I can contact the district because the school is not following the law. I'm not a person that likes confrontation, but I'm about ready to take it on anyway.
Wish me luck!
UPDATE: The school counselor called me today and set up the initial IEP meeting!!! It's set for next Wednesday at 3:45 pm. Finally!!
One of my co-workers, Michelle, has a mother who teaches classes on IEP's, parent's right and the law regarding it all. Michelle told her mother what I've been going thru and she's very upset! Apparently once I notified them of Dominic's diagnoses, even over the phone, they have 30 days to start evaluating AND they should have started (and maybe even finished) the process over the summer!! The school's psychologist told me last May that it was too late in the school year to start the process, that it couldn't be done over the summer and it'd be fine to start at the beginning of the new school year. Turns out she went on maternity leave over the summer. Seems a bit suspicious, doesn't it??
I will be calling the new psychologist tomorrow. The problem is that I sleep until 3:30 pm because I work 3rd shift. Hopefully she is still answering her phone after 4 pm, since I need to get Dominic from the bus stop just before that time first. It really upsets me that they are pushing this back and don't seem concerned about helping Dominic. According to my co-worker I can contact the district because the school is not following the law. I'm not a person that likes confrontation, but I'm about ready to take it on anyway.
Wish me luck!
UPDATE: The school counselor called me today and set up the initial IEP meeting!!! It's set for next Wednesday at 3:45 pm. Finally!!
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